Tango Life

A friend of mine returned from another city recently and told how while at a Milonga she sat for a long time without being asked. She spent the time watching couples dancing and noticed that the men weren't actually  leading. They each did a slightly different pattern over and over and their partners just walked it for them, without regard to connection. Eventually she was asked to dance, she remembered the guy's pattern and walked it for him. He was deeply impressed, told her that she was an amazing dancer and subsequently told all his friends. Each of them asked her to dance, she repeated the patterns for them that she had committed to memory earlier, and each of them was similarly deeply impressed.  She hardly sat down again! I told her that it must have felt good to be so popular and she shrugged noncommittally, "but they weren't leading, so...it wasn't really dancing..." How do leaders improve if they can't trust their followers to follow? How do f